Worse than I thought. Much worse.

I have been going through what the business earned and cost for the last few years and I have been majorly losing my ass. I can't see how I stayed ahead of the basic bills, but can see why I am not getting ahead at all. Nothing short of a miracle could save this thing now. The rents are higher than ever (like 6 times higher than when moving into the locations), and income has dropped like 65% from a high point like 5 years ago (about when I moved in).

Two years ago I got in a bad wreck once again, and I am sure it addled my thinking, this seems to prove it even more. Geez, even if I were working a 9-5 job this wouldn't be worth it...why should I take such major amounts of money out of my pocket so everybody else can have fun? It sure doesn't make the whole deal fun for me.Now I need major investment in equipment just to hold even. I don't think that's going to happen now.

I need a steady job, even at minimum wage it would be a huge improvement on things now. Perhaps a night job until I finish school...? I can't sort it all out this late.

Why....

are all the people in my life who understood the progression of certain arts through certain histories to the present all dead? Why not the half-assed morons with even more half-wit off-spring? Why DO the good die young?