Hopeless/ Hopeful?

Made small progress on employment at the firm I want to work for. They are almost impossible to get an interview with if you don't have an inside contact. Money has more than run out. Last months bills still aren't paid, I have very little due in for payments to me this month. Its all going to crash in the next two months. I guess instead of bettering myself with all this study and schooling, I will be trying to just hold on like I was doing before all the work. Why bother?

Always Too Much

Father is ill, doesn't look like he is long for this world. Haven't found work in my new field yet. Have given up 2/3rds of my business to try and save my sanity. Want to be in the game again, and don't know how to work for someone else after all these years of being self-employed. Stress is killing me, exhaustion is killing me. Why is nothing actually killing me? Weird. Often forget log-in to blogger. Away again as ever.