Goodbye to Peewee

Yesterday just sucked. Peewee has been raging against the effects of very advanced age for some time now, and yesterday he lost the fight.

So many years ago he wandered into my girl's life, when she was only a little girl herself. He took over and became the Head Dog,despite his tiny size. In a malstrom of other dogs he always had his way, displaying a certain lovable pig-headedness that you couldn't help but love. At the time, the family already had too many dogs, and her father didn't really want to keep him, but my girl insisted. Peewee and her dad became fast friends.

When my girl lost her dad, Peewee turned all his love and affection to her. They were closer than close. When she moved in with me she missed him terribly, and one day he just moved in with us. My place became a home on that day.

He was old and fragile when first I got to know him. He wasn't ding so good, so we went out of our way to get senior dog food for him, pamper him and do whatever we could. Of course, he displayed all manner of issues, but when he came walking in with that little confidant stroll, all was just fine in the world. He even got well enough again to enjoy playing and pouncing about...and walks in the park.

Once, on a trip to the mountains, he stood at the top of a mound probably 4 feet tall, surveyed the scene..and then lept! That's a big jump for a 7 pound, 15 year old dog, but he was just fine. H once raced around to met us after we were gone for the day, over-joyed to see us. That was a fine day....until...

...he had the second of some manner of stroke or seizure. He was never quite right after that it seemed. There he was, all himself, and then he wandered off. He seemed increasingly lonely. We worried about him, and so we got Max, to keep him company. Max looks like a giant version of Peewee, and has an equally demanding personality....but he soon learned Peewee was boss and respected that. Soon enough, his pig-headness came back and he was bossing the larger dog around and keeping him from his food.They made a nice pair together. Both seemed happy at the company, and they even got to the point of sleeping near each other much of the time.

These last six months have been hard, Peewee losing control of himself and peeing everywhere. I had decided that all was fine, as long as we had him with us. He was to be part of our wedding, which had to be postponed because of all the other crap. Now, he will neverbe able to take part, and I am destroyed by it. We plan to find and wear lockets with his photo in them when we do finally get married. Still, it won't be the same as having the loving little smelly dude there having his way with everything.

We buried him in HIS spot in the front yard of my girl's house, where he sunned and stood guard for so many years. To hell with the perfect lawn we destroyed doing so,and to hell with the sprinkler system we didn't know was there. I've found a statue that looks very close to him on-line, and think we will probably order it to mark his spot.

I miss you so much Peewee, fare thee well on your journey! I promise to take care of your girl for you, and to keep her from harm.

Let's just start the christmas season depression early.

I haven't been looking, because I am broke, but it seems The Waterboys are playing like 3 dates in the US after not being here for some years. None are near me-so....I will miss them this tour. I have never missed them in the US since the first tour. This is so depressing.

To top it all, Iron Maiden tickets seem to have gone on sale this morning also. Guess that's out too.

I feel like I have wasted my time/ talent and energies to have worked so hard, for so long, to have a place that others may enjoy their interest in the martial art I teach, and its all at the expense of my own security and enjoyment of life. Things need to change. I don't want to waste another minute. I want to be involved in music and writing at the level I wanted all this time, with a job that pays me enough to make progress in them and enjoy them.

Blogging Half life

It seems all cool blogs I follow run out of steam and vanish at some point. Interting people get bored, tired, fired, fat, injured....whatever, and the blog entries slow or stop compleltly. Its a bummer when you've been following some intelligent person, only to have them vanish ith no reason.

Probably worse is the victums of love. They go from having great blogs to googly eyed proclamations of never-ending love for whomever new is in their life. If you keep them bookmarked, at some point they break up and get interesting again. Others, they get married and join the ever increasing numbers of "baby blogs", fully documentingevery poop and fart their child makes as it grows. Talk about embarrassing for the kids. What happens when the never-ending blog is discovered by other fifth grade classmates some years later?Blogmurders? Who can tell.

Oh well, off to class and a mid-term test. I am tired, sick and mentally dull.I hope I get a decent score on the thing....