For some years I have felt underchallenged. In my past, I had the need to fill my mind at all times with variuos useful thoughts, which all stopped in '88 with the car wreck. Since then, instead of viable creative thoughts, I find myself consumed with worry about the worst possible thing that could happen. I go to class, its failure, I go to teach, its weird parents and their children who refuse to work, I drive, its some idiot causing a wreck for me.
I struggle to shut it all off. Some 5 years ago I was there. I shut it off and had a calm mind. I lived by the rule that 90% of what you worry about never happens, so stop the worry and be ready for the ten percent that does happen.
I recognize the need to reach this place again. I waste so much energy on worry. I need to get things rolling again, instead of burning the candle of doubt.
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