Figures.

I have been buried under estate related crap. A major portion of the money he had saved have been spent on the trivial things, while the large things all seem to have gone easily. I am even more tired now. I look back over this blog, and it was supposed to help me feel like I had made progress in life while over-coming my issues. It falls short on that.

I used to follow and read a number of blogs. All are gone without a trace now. I wonder if those folks are okay? I hate the day that blogger turned into a place to put up photos of your fucking cat or children. It used to be interesting.

I have found that internet explorer increasingly doesn't want to do the simple tasks...such as go to websites or do anything with pressing buttons. Its whatever the new version is, and I have to say I hate it. I have been using IE since it was created, but may be forced to dump it soon. Its as bad as the iPad I got that won't play anything flash related. Thanks, I can't check my e-mails or surf most of the stuff I need as a result. Steve Jobs is a bigger prick than Gates ever was...

Packing to leave the state and move to Florida. So many people I know are doing well there. I need to be surrounded by that, instead of the daily struggle to not get run over by illegal aliens that I have now. I am about 45% packed, with a major spring cleaning being done as I pack. I guess that puts me at 50% overall, counting what I no longer own and won't have to move. Planning on a U-Haul trip in the next few weeks, hopefully matching two autos being transported by semi to the new home and life. Once moved will begin to look for A & P work, figuring that handling an out of state parents death is a reasonable reason for a gap between getting the Cert and searching for work.

Changes

Figures, it was 10 days after my last post when my father died.

My company has been handed off to a top student, I retain a night a week until December. The 20 year old website is no longer posted. There will be no new students for me. I am almost done with the sport that has provided some enjoyment and much grief over the last 20 years.

I am leaving this sport and leaving the state I live in. Its too much, too many illegals getting the world handed to them at my expense. Back to where I came from...where I will defend my property and rights to the death against them all.

The Trouble

The trouble with consoling someone facing death is that it brings you crashing face to face with your own mortality. You end up taking stock of all the stupid chices and incidents that have injured you and calculate how much time will be deducted as a result.

30 years ago when AIDS ravaged the land, many of my friends passed away, both gay and straight. I sent much time handing out comfort. I discovered that while I was good at it, the toll it took on me afterwards was overwhelming. Thus, I could never go into medicine.

One doesn't think at a young age about their parents, and the generation that was told smoking was good for them....upon reaching the late evening of life. I'm not ready for this yet.

I have no choice, and am already exhausted.

See What I Mean?

I saw to day that California has approved giving finacial add to ILLEGAL ALIENS.

GGGRRREEEAATTTT....I can't get the last 3 classes I need because they are jammed with Illegals each semester, now the state wants to take MY TAX DOLLARS and give it to the same illegals that are preventing me from completing my own education.

ASSHOLES.

La Raza is the American Taliban.

Why?

Why do I even bother? The rewards certainly don't match the effort by any means.

I Hate Cars

The car we bought in December won't start. It comes and goes with the problem, but its still there.

Got a fancy warranty with the car, which didn't cover the first time it was repaired. Cost me 750 bucks.

Failed again, within a couple of weeks. Dealer is too stupid to replace the ignition switch. Known problem on these cars at this milage.

I wish to hell we had never bought this car. I can't blame the car, but I do blame the half-wit techs working on it. I suspect my wife will never like the car once its back.

I have to sell at least two cars, I have too many sitting around in variuos states. I planned to sell the oldest to pay for flight lessons, but if I don't get a 9-5 soon, it will go to pay bills. I have owned it 20 or more years, hate to see it go that way.....

Hopeless/ Hopeful?

Made small progress on employment at the firm I want to work for. They are almost impossible to get an interview with if you don't have an inside contact. Money has more than run out. Last months bills still aren't paid, I have very little due in for payments to me this month. Its all going to crash in the next two months. I guess instead of bettering myself with all this study and schooling, I will be trying to just hold on like I was doing before all the work. Why bother?

Always Too Much

Father is ill, doesn't look like he is long for this world. Haven't found work in my new field yet. Have given up 2/3rds of my business to try and save my sanity. Want to be in the game again, and don't know how to work for someone else after all these years of being self-employed. Stress is killing me, exhaustion is killing me. Why is nothing actually killing me? Weird. Often forget log-in to blogger. Away again as ever.