Wow, Just wow.

Blogger died the death when Facebook happened. It got reduced to even more pictures of cats than FB had. Oddly, as it is so ignored in the USA, it seems to have grown into something else viable for the rest of the world. I used to love reading it to see the sort of things people in other parts of the world were interested in. It sort of replaced the missing world of shortwave radio. Now, however, it has some sort of search function that guides you to sites that match the last one you looked at. You go to a site about ford trucks, all you end up seeing is ford trucks. I don't like this at all. I want my random back, I want to explore, not shop interests.

Nobody I know still uses Blogger, so maybe its safe enough to say the things I want to say around here. Sometimes happy, lots of times disgusted and grumpy....but its my page. Wonder if I could ever recover my original one from all those years ago, just to see where things were at?

Used to follow all sorts of blogs, as people are interesting. Most are long since gone now. Weird how some are still around. Funny how some of them that were late teens, early 20's haven't grown up enough to know that what they did at 14 isn't cool at 32 and that they really aren't hip and cool anymore. Even more than my generation, many are really stuck on the whole grunge era thing....but fat and dumpy in plaid with glasses isn't the same as their once lithe and attractive selves used to be. It's not just looks, they have grown more cynical as they have grown and found out nobody gives a damn about what they say or think. You see them in the bars and cafe's around here. Still with their Macs/ iPads and speaking a little too loudly for their seats- so everybody will hear what they think. Good thing you got that degree in Art...like 300,000 other losers without a drop of talent. How is that job at Walmart anyway? Better get home, that rugrat you had after a drunken night with a guy you never liked in the first place is waiting for you. Poor bastards. It's called Life. It may not be fair, but it is actually ironic most of the time.....

Was going to change my screen name here...but I still have the Miata and am happy with it. Other cars since then.....often not so much. The Miata hails from a simpler and happier time. Need to drive it more again.

Wow.

Been involved in a huge project for a year. Got some acclaim for it, and zero pay. Few people will ever have the chance to do what I have done. Facing a court date for the armed attack I survived. Looking to find a job, which seems like the story of my life. Might take a lower wage one to just have income, and use my skills on my own projects. I have countless talents from all my years in business, and everybody wants them for free. I am the wrong race, the wrong age and the wrong everything to be paid for what I can do. I was born white, which means I can pay the way for everybody else's dreams. Screw their dreams.

I went back to my first post on this blog. It was created because somebody found my other one, and thought what I wrote was about them. They got all upset, so I removed it from the internet. I can't remember who it was, or who the posts they got upset about were even about. This blog has changed names/ directions a number of times. I am not so hopeful about life anymore; I've gone from being young to being old with no middle ground in-between. My chronic pain is most of the reason why. I rarely enjoy the same things I did when I started this blog, and I miss that. I feel every-increasingly shackled with life. I drove past the high school I went to decades ago, and there was a football game going on. Some big rivalry with a school that didn't exist when I was young. It looked the same as decades ago, save the fashions. So many of my friends from those years are dead. So many friends I made since then seem to have gone fucking crazy. I am more alone than I was at 16. I make myself crazy. No longer can I listen to the world on shortwave radio- the internet killed it. All that is left is an impossible numbers of cat photos to avoid it seems.

Nobody will ever see these words.