Been involved in a huge project for a year. Got some acclaim for it, and zero pay. Few people will ever have the chance to do what I have done. Facing a court date for the armed attack I survived. Looking to find a job, which seems like the story of my life. Might take a lower wage one to just have income, and use my skills on my own projects. I have countless talents from all my years in business, and everybody wants them for free. I am the wrong race, the wrong age and the wrong everything to be paid for what I can do. I was born white, which means I can pay the way for everybody else's dreams. Screw their dreams.
I went back to my first post on this blog. It was created because somebody found my other one, and thought what I wrote was about them. They got all upset, so I removed it from the internet. I can't remember who it was, or who the posts they got upset about were even about. This blog has changed names/ directions a number of times. I am not so hopeful about life anymore; I've gone from being young to being old with no middle ground in-between. My chronic pain is most of the reason why. I rarely enjoy the same things I did when I started this blog, and I miss that. I feel every-increasingly shackled with life. I drove past the high school I went to decades ago, and there was a football game going on. Some big rivalry with a school that didn't exist when I was young. It looked the same as decades ago, save the fashions. So many of my friends from those years are dead. So many friends I made since then seem to have gone fucking crazy. I am more alone than I was at 16. I make myself crazy. No longer can I listen to the world on shortwave radio- the internet killed it. All that is left is an impossible numbers of cat photos to avoid it seems.
Nobody will ever see these words.
