I get tired of not being able to sleep. At worst, I can't focus on anything, and having the internet is like leaving me the keys to a huge public library. I end up spending far too much time looking up this and that from way back when. I have become quite annoyed at how many times I was right next to something/ someone famous or successful. Its happened over and over. I usually find that such and such lived within a mile and used to be part of this or that group that I was hanging out with. They include a famous woman who became an actress on a tv show, another who used to be a guitarist and ended up acting, producers, musicians that made it after all, and god knows who else. I did all the same things as most of them. Worked hard, moved to try and make it at something.Guess none of them damn near got killed by an illegal alien in a car wreck like me. It certainly depresses me at what should/ could have been. I am tired of working so hard for so little.
Every kid with 2 weeks playing guitar can start recording at home now. I've lost interest in most music when its that simple.
8 gizzilion people can write and self-publish. The challenge was to write something that others valued enough to buy. The numbers of writers now means "Who cares"? and why bother.
I feel like the guy in Amadeus most of the time....
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