It's true. I have been passed over by time. Of course, long ago I obsessed with history, art, music, etc......
While I have adapted and re-invented myself over and over again, I have no desire to do so yet again. The ghosts of my past haunt me so. Too many lives gone, lives that I once knew. Aids, murder, premature death. They scar me.Gains me nothing now, need to find a way to keep it from wasting so much of my mind's time.Working on re-inventing now, but that seems to bring me current to maybe the mid 70's or so. Perhaps cutting edge is the world I should pursue to finally get somewhere meaningful.
But now I find that nothing I liked impresses me any longer at all. To say I have lost the fire to create isn't exactly correct, but it needs to be applied and marketable at this point. Bizzillions of people create things of low to no merit. I want more.
It seems a shame, but the world of video games has run rampant over every other artform/ activity.I hate virtual worlds, unless they have a real world application. Now it seems, if one wants to excel and create, it must be done at the feet of the video game.
Maybe a place so far from everything that you have to make your own power wouldn't be bad. Maybe a life without technology like this wouldn't be bad.
Wish I could sleep.
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