Rollin'

Nothing better than a late night bicycle ride. All the nuts in cars are asleep and the roads are free of exhaust fumes. Good for the body, good for the badly damaged knees, good to use the damned iPod anyway and listen to loud shit you never listen to anymore anyway. Don't expect I'll ever actually enjoy daytime rides......

I would venture to say that this was my best bike ride since Feb of 1988 when I trashed my road bike and got attacked by a dog afterwards on the way home. I am not at the level I was then by any means, but the good feeling of how I used to bike was there. (There really was never a good feeling commuting on the mountain bike for those years in the 90's....). This is what you need to succeed.

Work Vs Passion in Life

For some reason people think my job is my passion in life. I hear "It must be great to be able to do something you love as your job!" over and over again. I was thinking that too, so I went back to school to try and get a job in Aviation- which is something I love!

I have many, many interests. They include, but are not limited to: Aviation, Space, Bicycling, shooting sports, high power rocketry, history, writing, music, automobiles and trucks, sailing and any number of other things that rotate in and out of my veiw in what seem to be cycles.

What I do for a living was once an interest, a strong one- but never a passion. Now it is a job. It's just that I approach any job with a lot of energy and focus. Usually it gets me fired, because everyone then thinks you are out to climb the ladder and take their jobs away. I have never given a damn about taking any manager's job away. There are bigger things in life to put one's effort into. I suppose this is why so many think I am having the time of my life at this current employment. Is it wrong to do your best to do a good job at anything you are involved in?

But it certainly isn't my PASSION in life.....;<>!!!

Screw Your 700 Billion Dollar Bailout!

Here, I have a BETTER idea:

First, let's freeze the assets of everyone from the top to the bottom of the lending/ investing industry. That's right, the CEO's down to the Loan Officers who were living high on the hog selling everybody loans they couldn't afford.

That's right, ALL of them. Like any of them are innocent...treat them like a vanquished army. There certainly has to be enough equity in all they own to bail this all out. The money went somewhere didn't it? That would be their pockets and paychecks!

FACE IT: If these people were caught growing pot, everything they owned would be seized by the government. The next line would be "We can't prove what you bought with legally earned money, and what was bought with money generated by illegal means, so we are taking it all." Treat Wall Street the same way, "We can't tell what was bought with money from sensible business, and what was bought with money earned from bad loans, so we are keeping it all."

THEN, sell it at cost, not what they paid for it all and use the money to bail their industry out. Gee....ain't that the way it works for the rest of us?

The problem with bailing this industry out is that they get to screw up bigger than anyone else ever, and they all get to keep their overpaid jobs and earn money while the people dying under bad loans try and get new home loans. Maybe they should have to set up and provide GOOD loans without benefit of a commision when they do so...why pay them twice, once for the bad loan and once for a good one?!?!?!?!??


SCREW WALL STREET!

(While you are at it nationalize the oil companies that have been bleeding us all dry and use those assests to help fix things...! Record profits and they need to raise prices, my ass!)

Need To Ride/ Forgetting Propellers

Need something to clear details of Hamilton Standard Hydromatic Propellers, Curtiss Electric Propellers and countless other Propellers from my mind! I am so watered down and wet under the weight of their baldes I could burst. Almost feeling good enough to excercise some now, sickness be gone.

Bad, bad day yesterday...a friends brother was killed at his work. Super bummer. Don't know what to say.

I really need a ride.

Cycled.

Got on the bike and rode. Need to do it more.

I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM!!!!!!

Let me sing it from the mountains, let me ring it from the valleys...I didn't vote for the moron in the White House!

Here we are at the end of 8 years, and I've had to listen to all the crap about what a great leader Bush is. I had to listen to how badly screwed up the USA was as a result of Clinton, and how Bush was going to turn this place around and make it better!

I may not like 100% of what Clinton did, or stood for...BUT...the place sure ran better when he was in charge. Of course, the loudmouths said his first 4 years were simply riding on the coattails of the pres before him. OK. So the second four years were his doing? LET'S USE THAT LOGIC NOW: The first four years f what Bush did were the results of Clinton's work, and the last four reflect Bush's work.....OPPS! But if the loud mouths were going to force this logic on me for all that time- IT'S THEIR TURN!

Let's look at the highlights of what Bush has achieved:

He put the country into two wars on widely separated fronts that he couldn't win quickly. (Guess he made a "C" in history when they talked about how that worked out for Hitler in the Big One.)

He's gotten scores of young US soldiers killed.

The National Guard is MIA and unable to help during disasters because they are trudging around someplace overseas searching for WMD's or something or other.

The country can't support itself because all the money goes to running these wars.

His VP shot a lawyer. (OK, maybe they did do something positive).(( Not really, I have friends who are lawyers, and they are awfully nice people too...))

All his buddies in the oil business are making record profits and laying to the public about having to hold prices for oil products so high.

He's made the situation so bad that many people think a mulatto man claiming to be black is a viable choice to replace him.

He's made the situation so bad his own party is doing the best they can to sabotage their own Presidential campaign, so that they won't be in office when the whole place comes down around their feet.

He's brought back memories of the Great Depression and the Stock Market Crash of 1929, all in one fell swoop!



The best solution for him is a final solution, wherein NONE of his direct family members survive, so they may never wreak havoc on the world again.I guess I understand why they used to kill the king...AND their whole family.

Anyone else notice that when TEXAS is threatened by a hurricane, the Federal Government is all over it like flies on shit? Like we didn't see THAT coming....

Whta's Wrong With The Two Main Political Parties?

NO order here at all:

The Dems have Obama, a mulatto male acting like he's black. I'm soo tired of hearing about him being raised by a single mother. Single mothers don't usually trot the globe, living on research grants and drag their spoiled child along. Well, black ones don't at least. So it's a good thing for Obama his mom wasn't black.

And another thing...why is it that anyone in the USA that has ANY black heritage is pounced upon to proclaimed ONLY that portion of their heritage? Like Jimi Hendrix. Or Tiger Woods (At least HE doesn't place the whole annoying race thing!).As for Obama, why would he embrace the culture of the parent that abandoned him in the first place? Oh, and created him while still married to another woman anyway. Yeah, THAT'S the part of my heritage I would want to proclaim.

And the whole "I had to live with my poor grandma" bit....wasn't she a retired bank vice-president? ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? What an asshole. I can't see how anybody would trust a fool who has never even owned a business or been in charge of ANYTHING for any length of time. Remember when HE said about Hillary that being President wasn't the place for on the job training? Hmm...maybe it is for false black men like him.....


Then he picks a pretty reasonable person as Vice Pres to run with him.OK, great.

Then the Repubs. They found a pit bull of a guy who is at least schooled in combat and tactics. If I were stuck in a uniform I'd probably vote for him on this alone. At least he has a chance to wind down the wars like he means it. So he's old, SO WHAT? Oh yeah, he isn't the most popular skin color, I forgot. Because white people have done nothing in the USA except oppress the minorities, and since he's white, it's all his fault. Everyone should vote against him because of the color of his skin, which is why everyone should vote for the half black guy...he's not as white! (But he IS more of a spoiled rich college boy lawyer than the white guy....).

THEN they go and ruin it with the world's WORST candidate in history. Sarah "Soccer Mom" Palin. Yeah, we all know the deluded masses of soccer moms is what helped get Bushie in office...twice. But what idiot would actually want one running the country?!?!?!?! Most NORMAL people HATE soccer moms and their greater than thou raving christian attitudes. The whole bridge to nowhere thing? Its such a christian response she gives "God forgave me, so I don't care if you do". As for pit bulls wearing lipstick, they would certainly be more attractive that this middle age slag with the fuck me red pumps and the on her back daughter parading around like they are better than us. What was the bumper sticker I saw? Something like, "My bastard grandchild is a wonderful gift from god, yours is a social disaster that taxes the economy and is a mistake."

And she would be one chicken bone away from running the country? WHAT?!?!?!!? Ever seen a self-proclaimed soccer mom run anything important correctly without fucking it up and bringing in only her friends and buddies to work it? NOPE!


What kind of crap country is it that can get only two seemingly reasonable people out of four to run for office, and then not even on the same ticket?

Back to the chicken bone- It sorts out like this: If the Dems win, they'll need bucket's of the Colonel's best sent to the White House everyday. If the Repubs win they'll need a gate guard to prevent the delivery guy from getting there....


WHY should I vote...HOW can I vote? I really regret not selling everything I owned and moving to another place to live all those years ago. I wonder if I could pull it off now.....

...and one MORE thing.

The history class I am taking is the worst piece of revisionist crap I have ever heard. How does crap like this un-supported propaganda get taught anyway? I am finding that "college" has no relationship to reality anyway. It seems to be half-wit wanna-bes with their own agendas to preach. I wish to hell they had to work at real jobs.

How can anyone stand a class where half the people in it don't know where someplace called "Spain" is located on the planet?

Closer than a Razor Thin sheet of paper.

I get tired of not being able to sleep. At worst, I can't focus on anything, and having the internet is like leaving me the keys to a huge public library. I end up spending far too much time looking up this and that from way back when. I have become quite annoyed at how many times I was right next to something/ someone famous or successful. Its happened over and over. I usually find that such and such lived within a mile and used to be part of this or that group that I was hanging out with. They include a famous woman who became an actress on a tv show, another who used to be a guitarist and ended up acting, producers, musicians that made it after all, and god knows who else. I did all the same things as most of them. Worked hard, moved to try and make it at something.Guess none of them damn near got killed by an illegal alien in a car wreck like me. It certainly depresses me at what should/ could have been. I am tired of working so hard for so little.

Every kid with 2 weeks playing guitar can start recording at home now. I've lost interest in most music when its that simple.

8 gizzilion people can write and self-publish. The challenge was to write something that others valued enough to buy. The numbers of writers now means "Who cares"? and why bother.

I feel like the guy in Amadeus most of the time....

Just Sail Away

A couple of weekends back at a harbour, and all I want to do is ditch it all, get a sailboat, and just sail away. Working numbers shows it would be cheaper than flying, but I still want to reach the sky. Perhaps a sail would be a nice step inbetween. Getting more done on left over labs required to finish getting certified to work on airplanes. Job prospects seem ok overall. One would be awesome, but don't think I want the danger of the work locations involved. Then again, to be debt free from even student loans in like a year is very alluring. Be closer to sails and wings then too....

Can't shake the feeling that something is wrong

used to be a line from a song of mine. Can't remember last time I got to play an instrument. Tired of picking up after the dog and everything else instead.

A Lot Slower Than I Used To Be.

Been reading Larry Brown again. It used to be Kerouac, but he's long gone long. Too bad, opened his mouth and got his ass handed to him around my age. Guess I should be happy I am healthier than he was. But oh so injured.

Damned knee is giving me so much grief I barely notice the pain in my neck and back. Damned reading giving me so much pain, 'cause I am starting to remember what used to matter so much. Wonder if I can get back to writing? Been a few years now. Just got a glimpse of what I was supposed to do this life again.

But I'm so much older than I used to be......

Back To The Grind....

School starts this morning. I was only able to get like 3 hours sleep before waking up too stressed to go back to sleep. Have a Gened class and ground school. Then the rest of the day os spent with catching up my labs to get my certificate of completion...so I can go test with the FAA.

When is somebody going to invent liquid sleep? I sure need a half a six pack right now....

How Many More Mondays Are There These Week?

Got a headache around Thursday of last week and it has yet to go away. My stomach has been sick and churning since Friday...and it has yet to go away. Have done some stuff needed, but not a lot. The phone has gone insane (I hope thats good) and I am far, far behind in getting messages. They keep piling up on top of ones not yet checked.

Monday first got the news that the bottom end of the Miata is screwed. Time to yank the engine and rebuild it. No problem at all as far as doing the work. Problem is a seriuos lack of cash.

Today the truck seems to have ingested portions of its front brake system, meaning tomorrow is spent trying ot get it rolling before 6:00 p.m. I mean, for gods sake, that two vehicles killed in two days! And I thought I was going to get started on reviving the Jeep tomorrow.

Staying up all night to keep up with the Olympic Fencing events. Womens Sabre was a mess, they call that fencing? All hopping around and counterattack. No defense, no compound actions (unless they made some sort of mistake...). All flailing and counterattack. And these people laugh at epee? There have been more parries in epee than women's sabre...!

Women's Foil has to be just about the best Foil Fencing I have ever seen. The Gold Bout was beyond awesome. Men Epee Gold rocked also, so very much going on under the stinky, sweaty masks there! Didn't see much og M Sabre, but happy that some new country got up to mattering in it.

Women's epee has a cross-sectioon of actual epee fencers, and folks who must prefer foil, because they certainly fence like they have a foil in their hands. The epeeists seem to be taking them down. They ain't shown M Foil thus far, would like to see if it is as awesome as the women's foil group.

OK, sick again. Maybe I sleep.

Used To Be Ahead of the Curve

I used to be ahead of the curve. I always obsessed on my interests to the point of knowing more than anyone else I'd meet. It was good, it was progress in life.

Got in that car wreck and wrecked my brain. All for what? To pay rent and work and utterly boring job I hated that had nothing to do with my goals/ dreams. I sacrificed my hopes for the mundane and got stuck there. I dig through stuff as I move and see all sorts of glimpses of who I used to be, and the roads I was on. I have forgotten more on most subjects than most people ever know. What a sad/ weird truth that is.The only truth the last 15 years has focused on is the harder you work, the more you will get screwed for it.

Who knows what to be now, with this mixed bag of information, at this time in history and this age on life? I suppose it starts with knowing what you are and no longer want to be...? Hmmmm...what book to reread this 20 years later? Who has time, its been a year or more without my car. I need to find nmy books and fix it myself.

Hyacinth. Rootless and jammed into the bank.This I understand.

Doing Nothing.

Finally got a computer set up correctly, and have done nothing but use a flight sim ever since. Too much work and not enough time to do it all.

Can't figure out why when I try and log into blogger it tells me I don't have the correct e-mail, or password or something....and then accepts it all the same on a later try. Weird.

Need to get to school and get a catalog for the genreal ed classes I will be needing this semester. I want to be done and working.

How To Be Tired

90% of the stuff is moved from the old address to the new one. I have to clean out the second garage, but there is no room in the new one....as there are dozens of boxes still in the new garage that have yet to be moved into the house.

The good news is that the washer and dryer are now ooked up and working. The dryer needed to be electric, and the outlet was in a weird place, so I had to make an extension cord of th proper size to place the dryer in the only place it fits. I had to get a ducting kit to vent it outside, and it appeared to be missing an important gasket. I managed to find it and get the ducting routed, the wiring done and the unit pushed in place. Of course, its 3:00 a.m., so I have no time to start running loads through the set-up. Oh well...tomorrow comes, I mean...is here anyway.

The fellow who lived next door at the old place had moved out to someplace else, but now is actually back...in our old place. At least the place will have a decent person in it, and all the crap that never got fixed over all the years and owners HAS to be fixed now. I feel happy the place is getting a new lease on life. This means it is the LAST place on the property to be fixed up.

Took a short but decent ride on the new bike with the wife on hers. Went to the gym today instead of a ride, and my knees are hurting.Need to move slow in gettingback into shape, so I don't damage myself yet again. Found a blog from a fellow who has lost like 00 pounds so far and is shooting for like another 200 I think. He did most of it on a bike, and it inspires my tired ass to get busy. Once I start losing weight I'll have to send him a thanks for the blog...!

Sleep...oh yeah....good night.

What?

What do you do with so many memories? I was there and saw it. What you are doing now is nothing but a sad copy of what was then. It mattered, this doesn't. Anyone can copy, who will create?

Plastic pop recycled crap with a fake dangerous edge.....

Just Tired Now.....

Still trying to get moved from the old to the new place. 90% is done, with the garage stufff left to go. I am bummed to find many, many things destroyed by the rats I fought off. Some clothing I had stored became a massive nest, brand new carpet for my truck is destroyed by chewing and urination. A huge amount of 80's rock music magazines are also destroyed. I can only guess what I could hav gotten for them on ebay.

I still have to move the huge rack of lp records, which I can't do during the day. I have move 99.8 percent of the this crap by myself, and am too exhausted to are about anything else at all right now. I need a month of sleep when I finish....but there may be a body shop class in a few weeks that I could complete my truck in. Damn...oh well. We will see.

Moving and Profoundly Sad

It came as a surprise. A small house nearby went vacant, and the rent is close to what we pay now, so we signed the papers today to move in to it.

I started moving things a load at a time. It was too hot. I find myself profoundly sad to the core. For my apartment...

I havelived here for like 15 years, god knows how that happened. I was a destroyed wreck when I moved in and it was supposed to be a short stay until I got on my feet. I was in my 30's and now I am in my 40's. I realized today that for th termites, the broken everything, the floods, the bug infestations...the crazed weirdo neighbors...whatever....this has been my home longer than any other building I have ever lived in.

Its grown too small for even myself. I can't get anything done bcause of it. I sit paralilyzed for hours as a result. But still, it was my place to go hide.I lived here when my dreams of music died. I lived here when I stabbed at wiriting novels and fell hort of my own standards. I lived here when I wanted to die. I lived here when my mother did die. I lived here from when my little car Evie was new, until she was falling apart at nearly 300,000 miles. I lived here through many,many very bad times, and some good ones.I have rebuilt a number of engines, fixed friends cars, gone round and round upon my own and even completley restored my Jeep while here. I amglad I haven't sold the Jeep...I need that peice of the past to have a future.

None of the troubles were the fault of this modest little apartment. Things happened here I guess. Its going to be so strange to come "home" to another place, and still be able to see my apartment. It will be so weird to live in a house. I haven't lived in one since 1979.

I will miss the stream out back that calmed me, and also flooded the apartment. I won'tmiss the fucking annoying neighbors dogs that bark if I get up at night and go to the bathroom. I won't miss the asshole high schoolers playing hokey out back.

I will miss my apartment, quite badly it seems. I should be moving more stuff out, but instead I will go to bed.The Girl is at work tonight, so its one last night so very alone, as so many I spent here...in my apartment.